Don’t Shoot The Messenger. Especially When They are Trying to Help

Frustration can quickly end up directed at the very people working hardest to fix the problem.

When a crisis hits, emotions run high. But the way we treat consultants, contractors and service providers during those moments can have consequences far beyond the problem we’re trying to solve.

A business owner recently described catching up with an old friend and asking where she'd been. What she shared was a familiar story; the kind of pressure that builds when a client expects more than any one person can reasonably deliver. 

She owned a successful service business and was supporting a client through a major crisis. The situation wasn't of her making, but she was the one expected to fix it. 

For days, the phone never stopped. Calls came early in the morning, late at night and throughout the day. Every conversation carried the same message: Fix it. Why isn't it fixed yet? 

The pressure became relentless. What began as a technical problem quickly became a human one. 

By the end of the ordeal, she dreaded every phone call. The sound of her phone ringing triggered anxiety. Eventually, she was diagnosed with PTSD. 

The long-term impact was significant. She stepped away from work, closed her business, and, without an income, lost her home. It took years before she returned to the industry. 

The technology wasn't what broke her. The way she was treated did. 

Whether it's an IT provider responding to a cyberattack, an HR consultant managing a difficult workplace issue, an engineer dealing with a critical failure or a safety adviser helping through an incident, service providers often work under enormous pressure. They want to help. They're doing everything they can with the information, time and resources available. 

Yet many experience unrealistic expectations, constant demands, aggressive communication and the assumption that they should always be available.

Would that behaviour be acceptable if it were directed at an employee?

Definitely not! Then it's worth asking why it becomes acceptable when directed at a supplier?

Respect shouldn't stop at the payroll. 

Organisations have clear responsibilities for managing psychosocial hazards(bullying, harassment, toxic work culture) within their own workforce. But there's also value in considering how interactions with contractors, consultants and service providers shape a healthier, more respectful working environment. 

Strong business relationships aren't built during the easy days. They're built during the difficult ones. 

The next time something goes wrong, and someone reaches for the phone, it's worth remembering there's another person on the other end. 

They deserve the same professionalism and respect any employee would expect to receive.